Blog Layout

Perception is Reality

The old adage "perception is reality" probably rings true. How you see a situation makes all the difference. That certainly applies to relationships and partners. Psychologists call it "confirmation bias." It just means that you see what you are looking for in your partner, be it positive or negative and anything to the contrary carries very little weight. Couples in conflict then, tend to see one another negatively, as insensitive, untrustworthy, emotionally absent, critical and so forth. We compile a catalog of evidence and can "litigate" our case to our partner at the drop of a hat. A true relationship danger sign (and what often happens in couples therapy) finds partners who love one another converting my office to a courtroom and prosecuting one another with blame, "what-aboutism" and contempt, trying to prove who is more wrong or less right. They are stuck in what John Gottman calls "Negative Sentiment Override." They only see the bad in one another. It's a one way road to relationship hell, as they say. 

All of us in committed relationship have been there. And when you are, all you want to do is to change the conversation. But, you don't know how. These negative cycles, this "highway to hell" has no off ramp. But, here's the good news: you can exit. It's possible to change the conversation. 

Changing the Conversation

And couples learn to do just that in a Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreat. Hold Me Tight®️ teaches the amazing lessons of attachment science and the tenets of Emotionally Focused Therapy, the widely acclaimed gold standard for relationship renewal. Hold Me Tight®️ helps couples learn to see one another differently. They learn that they, in fact, want the same things in love; they're just pursuing them in very different ways. They learn that they are actually not enemies or opponents. They learn to build (or rebuild) safety and connection that they never knew they could.


And, at Hold Me Tight®️, couples don't just hear about this: they do it. They actually learn to have conversations they never knew how to have...conversations they never knew they needed to have. We're talking here about conversations, NOT confrontations. So, couples change not only how they see one another, but how they connect with one another.

Change Your Viewing--Change Your Doing

The well known Solution Focused practitioner, Bill O'Hanlon, in his book "Do One Thing Different," said that changing any situation (or relationship) is a two step process. It involves changing how we see the situation (or person) and changing how we act in that situation. In short, we need to "change our viewing and change our doing."


That is exactly what Hold Me Tight®️ is about. You and your partner will learn to see each other as allies, not opponents, as safety cues, not danger cues. Then, you will do a new thing--together: you will learn to turn toward, not against one another, even (especially) in conflict. You will learn the power of vulnerability and empathy in actual conversations that will change the climate in your relationship. You will be amazed at the changes that can occur in the span of just two days. 

Low Risk/High Reward

Hold Me Tight®️ is not therapy. It's a low key, group experience where you'll meet other couples and see how much all of us have in common. You'll go at your own pace. No one is singled out or put on the spot. And you'll leave more capable and confident as a couple, with a new "viewing" and a new "doing" that can make a lifetime of difference. It is indeed low relationship risk and high relationship reward.


Hold Me Tight®️ is a chance to change the most important relationship in your world. You can leave the old behind and create a new normal. Our next workshop is next month. Sign up today. Come join us in Orlando!


Have a Safety Plan

a Hold Me Tight Couples retreat in Orlando helps couples grow closer and more secure

Another HMT Couples Retreat in the Books

By Mark Beck • November 12, 2024
A Hold Me Tight retreat in Orlando is a safe, powerful experience for couples to grow closer together

Going Deeper

By Mark Beck • November 5, 2024
A Hold Me Tight couples retreat in Orlando is a great place to let go of old baggage.

No More Baggage Dragging

By Mark Beck • October 30, 2024
At Hold Me Tight, couples learn to let go of old baggage.
A Hold Me Tight couples retreat is a great way to treat problems while they're still easy to fix.

Catch Problems Early

By Mark Beck • October 23, 2024
As I write this, I am waiting in my dermatologist’s office to have minor surgery. He detected a small spot of skin cancer on my face. That’s always a potential problem here in sunny Florida. Fortunately, they caught mine early and the procedure to correct it should be fairly simple. They found my skin cancer in a routine exam. That is to say, I had no symptoms. It wasn’t visible, wasn’t conspicuous, or even noticeable. But, had I ignored it, it most definitely would have worsened and possibly become serious. As they say, prevention beats treatment. And even when treatment is required, the earlier, the better.
Couples that attend a Hold Me Tight retreat in Orlando change their relationship

Change Your Viewing--Change Your Doing

By Mark Beck • October 14, 2024
Couples at a Hold Me Tight retreat in Orlando change their perspective and their behaviors to grow closer than ever before.

A Real Learning Experience

By Mark Beck • October 9, 2024
A Hold Me Tight®️ retreat is a transformational learning experience for couples. Two words there are key: learning and experience. First, what do you learn? You learn fascinating insights from attachment science. You learn that emotions are what drive us. Think about it: the word “emotion” contains the word “motion.” Emotions move us, motivate us. Emotions incite behaviors, actions and reactions. Emotions inform every level of our existence. And our most powerful, most vulnerable emotions are beneath the surface.
A Hold Me Tight couples retreat in Orlando will help couples manage the storms in their relationship

Preparation is Priceless

By Mark Beck • September 30, 2024
A Hold Me Tight couples retreat in Orlando will prepare couples for managing conflict and discord.
A Hold Me Tight couples retreat in Orlando can make for a peaceful love relationship.

Two Rules for Living (and Loving)

By Mark Beck • September 25, 2024
A Hold Me Tight couples retreat in Orlando can help couples change their focus on their relationship.

I Gotta Get in Shape

By Mark Beck • August 28, 2024
I recently decided I need to get in shape. I've "let myself go" for too long. Fortunately, there is no shortage of good home based video programs for resistance training, flexibility or cardio health. So, I perused the internet and found one of each. (I’m going for the total makeover!) I ordered them and when they arrived, I was excited to start my fitness journey. Some of them told me I could get in shape in “just a few minutes a day.” How hard could that be? I was all in. Let’s do this! So, I turned on the TV, queued the video, sat down on the couch and hit “Play.” I even popped some popcorn and got my favorite soda. I watched the first episode and, because I was really into it, watched a second session just for good measure. The next day, I did the same thing…sat right there on the couch and watched my fitness video. In fact, I watched every day for the next two weeks. I sat there faithfully and never missed an episode. After all, consistency is key, right? I couldn’t wait to look like those incredible people on the videos: slim, tight, perfectly toned—man, what bodies! But, something didn’t work. So far, I haven’t lost a pound. My waistline is just as big (maybe even a little bigger). I’m just as puffy and lumpy as ever. I’ll never get in shape. I don’t get it. I watched, I listened, I paid attention. What the heck? I want my money back! Okay, back to reality.

Reflections on a Hold Me Tight Couples Retreat

By Mark Beck • August 21, 2024
In this blog, I’d just like to share a few reflections on our most recent Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreat. As always, it was nothing sort of amazing. No two retreats are the same, but they never fail to amaze Vicki and me. Last weekend, we welcomed eight couples to our Winter Park (Orlando) FL venue. That is a little smaller group than usual, but it only makes for a warmer experience. It’s always exciting to meet new couples for the first time, to hear their stories and what brought them our way. The couples in this retreat varied in age and number of years together, from 4 years to about 40 years. It was clear that some were very stuck, unsure that they could figure out their relationship, but willing to try. Others were happy together, but wanted to make their good thing even better. Later, we learned that at least one couple saw the Hold Me Tight®️ retreat as sort of a “last best hope” before throwing in the towel on their marriage. You wouldn’t have guessed it to look at them, but they weren’t the first such couple to come to a Hold Me Tight®️ retreat as a last resort.
More Posts
Share by: