Baking a Better Cake

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The Perfect Recipe for Love

What ingredients do you need to bake a cake? Eggs, milk, flour, sugar, a few other things. But, merely having the ingredients doesn’t mean your cake will turn out well. You need a recipe. You need to know how much of each, when to add what, how long to bake it and so on. In other words, it takes more than ingredients.

Healthy relationships are much the same. Love is the key ingredient, but love isn’t enough, even though it might seem that way at the start. Countless couples fall head over heels for each other, convinced that they’ve found “the one,” and sooner or later, they find that something’s missing. Truly, love isn’t enough.

Two Indispensable Ingredients

Indeed, two other elements are indispensable to a healthy relationship. Without these two, the “cake” will inevitably collapse. Those two ingredients are vulnerability and empathy. Couples in love open up to one another. They share parts of themselves that they show no one else. They let one another in. That’s vulnerability. And they do it when their partner understands, listens, doesn’t judge or blame. And that’s empathy. It takes both: vulnerability and empathy. Each makes the other possible and both together will heal and grow any relationship. Vulnerability and empathy say, “I am there for you. I will open up to you and I’ll be there when you open up to me. You are safe with me.”

Creating a Safe Connection

In a healthy relationship, safety is absolutely crucial. When we feel safe, we relax and thrive. That’s how we fall in love. It’s how we stay in love. Emotionally, we become our best self when we feel safe with our partner. We even do better physically. Our health is better. Our longevity is longer. Our resistance is stronger. Safe connection is our happy place.

And, on the other hand, when a couple is struggling, when conflict has become combat, emotional safety is long gone. Protections go up, often thick walls of silence or severity. No one wants to open up; empathy is seldom seen.

Putting it all Together

Without a doubt, vulnerability and empathy are key ingredients in the relationship recipe. But, how do you blend those together with love? What does it look like? How do vulnerability and empathy combine to create something beautiful?

I’m glad you asked.

It Happens at Hold Me Tight

That’s what a Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreat is all about. Just as baking is an acquired skill that takes time and practice to master, relationships are much the same. As much as we’d like it to be true, the Beatles were wrong when they sang, “All You Need is Love.” We must learn to connect: learn to be vulnerable and empathize. Come and spend two days near beautiful Orlando, FL learning what loving couples the world over have learned. Hold Me Tight®️ is grounded in long term research, attachment science and the tenets of Emotionally Focused Therapy. (In other words, it isn’t pop psychology or pseudo-science.) You will spend two days with other couples gaining new understanding and the confidence that you can follow your “relationship recipe” and create something more beautiful and delicious than you ever imagined.

Whether your relationship has collapsed or you just want to take your recipe from good to great, Hold Me Tight®️ can make all the difference.

Learn more at www.couplesworkshopsofflorida.com. Get in on our next event in August. It’s just a few weeks away. Space is limited. Don’t miss out!

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Have a Safety Plan

When You Hit Turbulence

By Mark Beck • December 16, 2024

Now and then, I travel by air. I enjoy it, for the most part. But, on one trip, seemingly out of nowhere, the plane hit heavy turbulence. Suddenly, the cabin was shuttering and shaking. I looked outside; the wings were visibly bouncing up and down as the plane lurched and pitched. I tried to hide my fear, but (pardon the pun) it really shook me up. My stomach tightened; my breathing got shallow. I couldn’t think straight. Having such little experience with something like that, I feared we would crash. But, then, I noticed the flight attendants. They were cool as the backside of a pillow…no panic or alarm. I wondered how they could be so calm. Soon the pilot came over the intercom and in a steady, measured voice, explained that turbulence is normal, the plane was built for much, much worse and it would all subside in a few moments. The crew had been through this many times. They understood what was happening and what to do. I was so glad that somebody did! Their calm was contagious. Gradually, I was able to relax and realized that it wasn’t the crisis I had feared it was. That was a game changer. I got through it and now, turbulence isn’t the problem it used to be for me when I fly. It still happens, but I know what it’s about when it does and that gets me through. .

In Person Or Online?

By Mark Beck • December 2, 2024

Vicki and I will start something new in March of 2025. We have been leading in person Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreats at least four times a year for six years now. No two are the same; we always see amazing results and we get more than we give every time. And, in addition to our in person workshops, we’ll also begin offering online Hold Me Tight®️ workshops next year. In person and online workshops are definitely different. Each format has its own advantages. So, what’s different about the two and what is the same and which might be best for you? I’m glad you asked.

What About Love Languages?

By Mark Beck • November 19, 2024

Dr. Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages” is one of the most popular and prolific couples self-help books in history. Since its initial release in 1992, through several revisions, it has sold over 20 million copies. That’s one popular book! Perhaps you’ve read it. If not, it’s worth your time. Chapman basically contends that romantic love shows up in five ways. He calls them “languages.” In no particular order, they are: personal touch, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service and giving gifts. The idea is that all of us have a top one or two love languages and that couples can and should know, not only their own love language, but more so, their partner’s. And the more you and your partner speak one another’s language, the more love you’ll both share.

a Hold Me Tight Couples retreat in Orlando helps couples grow closer and more secure

Another HMT Couples Retreat in the Books

By Mark Beck • November 12, 2024

A Hold Me Tight retreat in Orlando is a safe, powerful experience for couples to grow closer together

Going Deeper

By Mark Beck • November 5, 2024

A Hold Me Tight couples retreat in Orlando is a great place to let go of old baggage.

No More Baggage Dragging

By Mark Beck • October 30, 2024

At Hold Me Tight, couples learn to let go of old baggage.

A Hold Me Tight couples retreat is a great way to treat problems while they're still easy to fix.

Catch Problems Early

By Mark Beck • October 23, 2024

As I write this, I am waiting in my dermatologist’s office to have minor surgery. He detected a small spot of skin cancer on my face. That’s always a potential problem here in sunny Florida. Fortunately, they caught mine early and the procedure to correct it should be fairly simple. They found my skin cancer in a routine exam. That is to say, I had no symptoms. It wasn’t visible, wasn’t conspicuous, or even noticeable. But, had I ignored it, it most definitely would have worsened and possibly become serious. As they say, prevention beats treatment. And even when treatment is required, the earlier, the better.

Couples that attend a Hold Me Tight retreat in Orlando change their relationship

Change Your Viewing--Change Your Doing

By Mark Beck • October 14, 2024

Couples at a Hold Me Tight retreat in Orlando change their perspective and their behaviors to grow closer than ever before.

A Real Learning Experience

By Mark Beck • October 9, 2024

A Hold Me Tight®️ retreat is a transformational learning experience for couples. Two words there are key: learning and experience. First, what do you learn? You learn fascinating insights from attachment science. You learn that emotions are what drive us. Think about it: the word “emotion” contains the word “motion.” Emotions move us, motivate us. Emotions incite behaviors, actions and reactions. Emotions inform every level of our existence. And our most powerful, most vulnerable emotions are beneath the surface.