Creating Teamwork

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A Healthy Relationship Takes Teamwork

America is obsessed with sports: football, basketball, baseball, soccer. And while not all sports are team sports, many of our favorites are. Team sports teach us that no one can win all by themself. It takes cooperation and sacrifice for the good of all. Each teammate's commitment to show up and give their best can make the group better than any one individual.

And teams don’t just succeed in sports. Humans are social beings. We have learned since prehistoric times that our survival and success best happens through and most depends on cooperation and connection. Armies, businesses, churches, political parties, to name a few, all depend on teamwork.

To quote a popular song title, “We’re better together.”

Relationships Take Teamwork

It’s also true in relationships. Humans from cradle to coffin are hard wired for connection, for interdependency, the comfort that comes with knowing that a partner will show up for you and needs you to show up for them. These are all tenets of a fast growing field we call Attachment Science. From it, we’ve learned the power of emotions in relationships. Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy has helped us make sense of what so often doesn’t. Why do couples get stuck in endless cycles of conflict and distress? Why can’t we “get through” to the one we love most? What pulls us apart and leaves us so distant? And most of all, how do we change it?

Answering the Hard Questions

These are just some of the questions we ask (and answer) in a Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreat. Hold Me Tight®️ is two days of learning together about attachment and the things all couples have in common. We learn that love actually does make sense and we learn that, yes, couples can create connection, even if it seems long gone.

If you and your partner feel far apart, know that you aren’t alone. Disconnection happens far more than you think. And there is a way out! Come to Hold Me Tight®️ and see your relationship through an “attachment lens.” Learn that those conflict cycles can be broken. Learn that more is going on than meets the eye. Learn to create safety with your partner. Become a team again and do more together than you ever could apart.

Hold Me Tight is not Therapy

Although Hold Me Tight®️ has its roots in Emotionally Focused Therapy, Hold Me Tight®️ isn’t therapy. It’s a low key weekend of learning and doing. Each couple goes at their own pace. No one is put on the spot. We take time for private exercises and conversations that will build your confidence. In other words, you won’t just learn about changing your relationship. You will do it…in real time…while others do the same.

Hold Me Tight®️ is a safe space. Vicki and I have been doing these retreats for over five years now. You will get out of it what you put into it, but we’ve seen amazing results in the span of just two days. Hold Me Tight®️ is a low risk/high return proposition. Come to Orlando. Enjoy the sun and give your relationship a “teamwork reboot” that could be a forever change. Our next workshop is in August. All the details are on this website.

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Have a Safety Plan

When You Hit Turbulence

By Mark Beck • December 16, 2024

Now and then, I travel by air. I enjoy it, for the most part. But, on one trip, seemingly out of nowhere, the plane hit heavy turbulence. Suddenly, the cabin was shuttering and shaking. I looked outside; the wings were visibly bouncing up and down as the plane lurched and pitched. I tried to hide my fear, but (pardon the pun) it really shook me up. My stomach tightened; my breathing got shallow. I couldn’t think straight. Having such little experience with something like that, I feared we would crash. But, then, I noticed the flight attendants. They were cool as the backside of a pillow…no panic or alarm. I wondered how they could be so calm. Soon the pilot came over the intercom and in a steady, measured voice, explained that turbulence is normal, the plane was built for much, much worse and it would all subside in a few moments. The crew had been through this many times. They understood what was happening and what to do. I was so glad that somebody did! Their calm was contagious. Gradually, I was able to relax and realized that it wasn’t the crisis I had feared it was. That was a game changer. I got through it and now, turbulence isn’t the problem it used to be for me when I fly. It still happens, but I know what it’s about when it does and that gets me through. .

In Person Or Online?

By Mark Beck • December 2, 2024

Vicki and I will start something new in March of 2025. We have been leading in person Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreats at least four times a year for six years now. No two are the same; we always see amazing results and we get more than we give every time. And, in addition to our in person workshops, we’ll also begin offering online Hold Me Tight®️ workshops next year. In person and online workshops are definitely different. Each format has its own advantages. So, what’s different about the two and what is the same and which might be best for you? I’m glad you asked.

What About Love Languages?

By Mark Beck • November 19, 2024

Dr. Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages” is one of the most popular and prolific couples self-help books in history. Since its initial release in 1992, through several revisions, it has sold over 20 million copies. That’s one popular book! Perhaps you’ve read it. If not, it’s worth your time. Chapman basically contends that romantic love shows up in five ways. He calls them “languages.” In no particular order, they are: personal touch, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service and giving gifts. The idea is that all of us have a top one or two love languages and that couples can and should know, not only their own love language, but more so, their partner’s. And the more you and your partner speak one another’s language, the more love you’ll both share.

a Hold Me Tight Couples retreat in Orlando helps couples grow closer and more secure

Another HMT Couples Retreat in the Books

By Mark Beck • November 12, 2024

A Hold Me Tight retreat in Orlando is a safe, powerful experience for couples to grow closer together

Going Deeper

By Mark Beck • November 5, 2024

A Hold Me Tight couples retreat in Orlando is a great place to let go of old baggage.

No More Baggage Dragging

By Mark Beck • October 30, 2024

At Hold Me Tight, couples learn to let go of old baggage.

A Hold Me Tight couples retreat is a great way to treat problems while they're still easy to fix.

Catch Problems Early

By Mark Beck • October 23, 2024

As I write this, I am waiting in my dermatologist’s office to have minor surgery. He detected a small spot of skin cancer on my face. That’s always a potential problem here in sunny Florida. Fortunately, they caught mine early and the procedure to correct it should be fairly simple. They found my skin cancer in a routine exam. That is to say, I had no symptoms. It wasn’t visible, wasn’t conspicuous, or even noticeable. But, had I ignored it, it most definitely would have worsened and possibly become serious. As they say, prevention beats treatment. And even when treatment is required, the earlier, the better.

Couples that attend a Hold Me Tight retreat in Orlando change their relationship

Change Your Viewing--Change Your Doing

By Mark Beck • October 14, 2024

Couples at a Hold Me Tight retreat in Orlando change their perspective and their behaviors to grow closer than ever before.

A Real Learning Experience

By Mark Beck • October 9, 2024

A Hold Me Tight®️ retreat is a transformational learning experience for couples. Two words there are key: learning and experience. First, what do you learn? You learn fascinating insights from attachment science. You learn that emotions are what drive us. Think about it: the word “emotion” contains the word “motion.” Emotions move us, motivate us. Emotions incite behaviors, actions and reactions. Emotions inform every level of our existence. And our most powerful, most vulnerable emotions are beneath the surface.