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Reflections on a Hold Me Tight Couples Retreat

In this blog, I’d just like to share a few reflections on our most recent Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreat. As always, it was nothing sort of amazing. No two retreats are the same, but they never fail to amaze Vicki and me. Last weekend, we welcomed eight couples to our Winter Park (Orlando) FL venue. That is a little smaller group than usual, but it only makes for a warmer experience. It’s always exciting to meet new couples for the first time, to hear their stories and what brought them our way. The couples in this retreat varied in age and number of years together, from 4 years to about 40 years. It was clear that some were very stuck, unsure that they could figure out their relationship, but willing to try. Others were happy together, but wanted to make their good thing even better. 

Later, we learned that at least one couple saw the Hold Me Tight®️ retreat as sort of a “last best hope” before throwing in the towel on their marriage. You wouldn’t have guessed it to look at them, but they weren’t the first such couple to come to a Hold Me Tight®️ retreat as a last resort.

All Couples Have Common Ground

So, as we broke the ice and our couples began to get acquainted, we all marveled as always at how much all couples have in common. No two are alike, but we all have common wishes, common needs, common fears, common issues and common mistakes trying to manage them. That’s one of the great things about a group experience like Hold Me Tight®️. We see how alike we all are.


Together, our couples learned what attachment science can teach us about what all humans crave and how often and easily we get off track trying to meet those needs. As we began to make sense of it all, couples gained a new perspective on their relationship and their partner. They began to see one another in a new light. They learned new skills to connect deeply and practiced having conversations instead of confrontations. They learned about vulnerability and empathy. Each couple went at their own pace. No one was put on the spot. It was a safe, simple process.

Two Days Can Make a Big Difference

But, in the span of two short days, our couples found that small risks can lead to big results in love. As they learned to go deeper together, they learned how to interrupt cycles of conflict, how to show up for one another, perhaps for the first time (or the first time in a very long time). Some healed very deep wounds. Others connected like never before. And one couple told us, “Thank you for saving our marriage.”


Hold Me Tight®️ is not miracle work (although some couples have seen it that way). Couples get out of it what they put into it. And we don’t do rebuilds in two days. But, however much couples accomplish in two days, all of our couples leave the workshop with a road map, a direction for connection that can last a lifetime. And, if you’re lost in the wilderness, a roadmap can be an absolute lifesaver. It can make all the difference. 


For me, Hold Me Tight®️ is the most rewarding experience I’ve ever had as a helping professional. One of our couples said, “This should be required for every couple.” I don’t know about required, but it’s certainly available for every couple and I can’t imagine why two people who love one another wouldn’t want what Hold Me Tight®️ has to offer.


In so many ways, life is a “no risk, no reward” proposition. You get out what you put in. And Hold Me Tight®️ is “low risk and high reward.” But, don’t take my word for it. Your relationship is priceless to you. It literally impacts every facet of your life. Give it your best and let Hold Me Tight®️ help.


Check out all the details at the home page on this website and plan to join us in beautiful Orlando this November. We’d love to have you!


Have a Safety Plan

By Mark Beck December 16, 2024
Now and then, I travel by air. I enjoy it, for the most part. But, on one trip, seemingly out of nowhere, the plane hit heavy turbulence. Suddenly, the cabin was shuttering and shaking. I looked outside; the wings were visibly bouncing up and down as the plane lurched and pitched. I tried to hide my fear, but (pardon the pun) it really shook me up. My stomach tightened; my breathing got shallow. I couldn’t think straight. Having such little experience with something like that, I feared we would crash. But, then, I noticed the flight attendants. They were cool as the backside of a pillow…no panic or alarm. I wondered how they could be so calm. Soon the pilot came over the intercom and in a steady, measured voice, explained that turbulence is normal, the plane was built for much, much worse and it would all subside in a few moments. The crew had been through this many times. They understood what was happening and what to do. I was so glad that somebody did! Their calm was contagious. Gradually, I was able to relax and realized that it wasn’t the crisis I had feared it was. That was a game changer. I got through it and now, turbulence isn’t the problem it used to be for me when I fly. It still happens, but I know what it’s about when it does and that gets me through. .
By Mark Beck December 2, 2024
Vicki and I will start something new in March of 2025. We have been leading in person Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreats at least four times a year for six years now. No two are the same; we always see amazing results and we get more than we give every time. And, in addition to our in person workshops, we’ll also begin offering online Hold Me Tight®️ workshops next year. In person and online workshops are definitely different. Each format has its own advantages. So, what’s different about the two and what is the same and which might be best for you? I’m glad you asked.
By Mark Beck November 19, 2024
Dr. Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages” is one of the most popular and prolific couples self-help books in history. Since its initial release in 1992, through several revisions, it has sold over 20 million copies. That’s one popular book! Perhaps you’ve read it. If not, it’s worth your time. Chapman basically contends that romantic love shows up in five ways. He calls them “languages.” In no particular order, they are: personal touch, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service and giving gifts. The idea is that all of us have a top one or two love languages and that couples can and should know, not only their own love language, but more so, their partner’s. And the more you and your partner speak one another’s language, the more love you’ll both share.
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As I write this, I am waiting in my dermatologist’s office to have minor surgery. He detected a small spot of skin cancer on my face. That’s always a potential problem here in sunny Florida. Fortunately, they caught mine early and the procedure to correct it should be fairly simple. They found my skin cancer in a routine exam. That is to say, I had no symptoms. It wasn’t visible, wasn’t conspicuous, or even noticeable. But, had I ignored it, it most definitely would have worsened and possibly become serious. As they say, prevention beats treatment. And even when treatment is required, the earlier, the better.
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